Lost Boys

I have to share my feelings, in hopes that I might be able to feel normal again! Steven had to read this book called the Lost Boys, by Orson Scott Card.

He was going to have an exam on it today so he had to hurry and get it read. We've had the book for about two months, and I attempted to help him by reading aloud on one of our road trips. The book is about a family who moved to North Carolina and deals with the issues of life, while their neighborhood is under attack by a serial killer. Sounds intense and the first chapter certainly was. It talked about the serial killer and how he became the way he did. I read it aloud and felt so icky inside I refused to have anything else to do with it. Steven started feeling the pressure to have it done so he began reading on his own. To my suprise, and to his, he actually enjoyed the book. He loved the family and really began to relate to the characters. He couldn't wait to share what he read with me at the end of the day and I loved it!

On our road trip to Utah this weekend I decided I would read it aloud to him while we drove, and of course I became wrapped up in the book as well. We read for about 5-6 hours straight last night and finally I fell asleep while he finished the book by himself. Today after I picked him up from classes he urged me to hurry and finish so we could talk about it. We got home and I finished the book.

****SPOILER ALERT**** If you would like to actually read this book, which I do reccommend, since I loved it, please don't read the rest of this entry. If you are sensitive (Brandi) do not read the book. I cried and cried, and still don't feel "normal" yet. ****SPOILER ALERT****

In the end the main little boy is killed by the evil molester. It's hard because the evil man didn't seem evil! There is obviously something wrong with him, but due to the insight at the beginning of the book you can't help but hate and feel the utmost pity for him. I am suffering for the fictional family in the book and their suden loss. My heart is broken for them. I can't help but question, why did he have to die in that way? Why are there evil evil people who would hurt children for their own wicked desires? Why are there families that weep over their Lost Boys and Girls? I attempt to keep reminding myself that this book was fictional. It isn't real. But my rational side comes through and says it is real!

Maybe it's the point that I'm at in life that has really affected my reaction to this book. I have the most wonderful man by my side and we are looking toward starting our family and raising them in this wicked world. I can't help but feel that my life has been too peaceful!!! I wonder if because I haven't truly suffered yet, my life from here on out will be full of pain! Even writing this makes me realize how utterly wrong and depressing that outlook on life is.

Maybe this book has turned my thoughts toward the negative, so I might look more fully toward the truly wonderful and hold on for dear life. I know without a doubt that Heavenly Father loves each one of his children. He knows their struggles in an intimate way no one can possibly comprehend. I need to take that knowledge and turn my thoughts toward faith.

This life is but a small moment, and in the end we will be embraced by the one who prepared the way for eternal joy and happiness. I so look forward to being with my Savior. Enveloped in His arms I know he will say, you made it home! you made it home to me and I'm so very happy!!!